Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I have Never Laughed so Hard

I don't think I have ever laughed as hard or as long with so much pleasure as the first time Ashley went out on Halloween. This story will be embarrassing for her but at the time I laughed so hard I fell into a shrub.
Ashley had a little friend, Billie. Billie was a petite little blonde with thin wispy hair and piercing blue eyes. We met Billie at play group when Ashley was two. Ashley had just taken a chunk of blonde hair out of Billie's head because Billie had climbed up to share the trampoline that Ashley was bouncing on.
Yes, those were the days when you would find dangerous child killer toys in gymnasiums like trampolines. In those days, they didn't have nets wrapped around them or bumper pads...the kids just fell off.
Anyway Billie's mother, Jill was the first and only mom in the group with her head screwed on and didn't throw a hissy fit when my kid maimed hers. All the others in the group had shunned us as Ashley systematically bit, scratched and scarred their kids throughout the year. Jill had a more peaceful zenlike approach...she knew there was karma.
Ashley and Billie became fast friends with Billie tolerating the occasional burst of anger from Ashley when she lashed out with biting and scratching. She tolerated her attacker and traded the scars for friendship.
Halloween came around and we dressed them up. I think they were both gypsies. That was an easy one to do with scarfs and makeup, long beaded necklaces and layered clothes for the temperature. The girls thought they looked wonderful and admired themselves in the hall mirror. We explained to them what they must do. "Go up to the front door and yell "HALLOWEEN APPLES" we said. That is what we used to holler. Not "TRICK OR TREAT". I think "HALLOWEEN APPLES" is way more pragmatic and to the point. Of course we didn't actually want any apples. We knew those would be full of razor blades and our mothers would cook them up for pie anyway.
When I was a child as we went door to door on Halloween night some other kids yelled "Trick or Treat" and I used to think, "No way, I am not doing a trick." You see, back then I was way to literal.
Anyway, off we went with our two cute little gypsies with their pillow cases dragging behind them. Neither of the girls had a clue what this night was all about. We lived in an neighbourhood of old homes with wide porches, big trees and narrow streets.
Up the first set of steps they went. Their short little legs barely getting them from one step to the next. Their beaded necklaces dragged on each step and their gypsy scarves fell over their eyes. They stood on the porch and looked back, Jill and I were hidden in the shrubs and the little girls looked to us for instructions. We waved our hands pushing the air and made scooching motions. "Get closer". We whispered, and they took little tiny steps until they were right at the crack of the door.

"Say it "we whispered.

In tiny little voices with their little mouths in the crack of the door they whispered. "Halloween Apples".

"Again!" we hissed louded.

"Again" they whispered into the crack.

Finally the door opened revealing an old couple bent over laughing. "Hello, they said to the kids, Why its two little gypsies, how are you tonight?"

"Fine" the gypsys said, pushing past the couple and trotting right into their living room where they both sat down on the floor in front of the TV.

Jill and I rushed the porch and called the girls out. They seemed somewhat confused. Why did we want them to go in if we want them to turn around and come out.
We all stood on the porch laughing as the old couple filled their pillow cases with candy. I laughed till the tears ran down my face, which blurred my vision and that is how I got tangled up in a shrub.
A little Haloweener on her first Halloween

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