Last Night's Sky

The sunset was fascinating last night as the sun changed the colour of the clouds. A helicopter flew overhead, chasing bad guys through our neighbourhood after a robbery at the local grocery, store drawing us out to the deck to see the action.

No action, just the helicopter noise. But the sky was alive.

Fun with Mike and Louise

Mike and Louise arrived on Sunday and stayed for two days, we enjoyed their company and ate great food and drank great wine. We asked Erin if it was great wine and she said that is probably was. We SMS'd her for her opinion. She lives in the rarified atmosphere of the sommolier crowd and is always willing to put us in our plebian places. :o))
Ashley came over to visit with her pottery fans/patrons and ended helping with dinner and made wonderful yorkshire puddings and selling even more pottery. Shades of Heidi's baby shower.

On Monday Louise and I walked Southland dog park and she was bowled over with the changes and the great running opportunities for dogs. She plans to come back to Calgary with her 3 dogs and the motorhome and give them a real canine holiday. There is now a pretty good beach made of large concrete blocks that both retain the riverbank and also offer seating for the humans. However it is way too challenging for the elderly canine population and Ginger winced as she tackled the huge steps. I know it wiped her out and when we got home she slept all afternoon.

That gave Louise and I a chance to go shopping at South Centre. I am not a shopper and I admit I have not been to the mall since the big reno and it is even bigger than ever now. We really only went for face cream but we ended up buying clothes, at least Louise did and then we met a very gregarious dutch girl at the Bay's Clarins counter who not only sold us make-up and face cream but gave us complete makeover. We had a hoot, lots of laughs and we left looking like a couple of old cougars. What do you call old cougars? I think we are too old for that description.

I did all of this with a whopping great eye infection. My eyes looked like two little cherries sitting in my eye sockets. I had just had a couple of eye procedures and I had come to the end of my eye steroid drops and I think that made me vulnerable to a low grade infection. I think I must have found a nice little allergen and rubbed my eyes and that was all it took. I tried all kinds of medications to settle things down but nothing worked. It is nice having a doc for a house guest and she said, for heavens sake stop using all that stuff and go to your doctor tomorrow. I did and I am now fixed. Well, not that way but my eyes are on the mend.

More good food and lots left over, enough to pack them a lunch and reluctantly send them home on Tuesday morning.

It is Permanent

Mum has decided that she likes this new place. Good food, nice people to talk to and lots of things to do and best of all safety and security. They are temporarily in the building's guest suite and we all know it is too small but, ...hurrah and hallelujah, they will be moving into a permanent suite as soon as possible, maybe this week or next. This is really good news because with everyone on board, that is, all of the health care professionals, we can get regular day help for Dad.
Barry has been fighting an uphill battle with the pencil pushing bureaucrats who seem to want to keep their blotter clean. One actually said to him that our parents had lived a good long life and maybe it is just time to let them go.
What????
Our parents have fought in wars for the bean counters and pencil pushers right to live in a free country and enjoy well paid jobs with big pensions, (anything is bigger than Mum and Dad's because they don't have any) and now they should just be pushed to the curb so that there will be less work and cost for the system? Outrageous!!!!

You looked shocked! Yes, ma'am/sir, this is true, one of them actually made that comment. I am mad enough to call the papers....except, no one reads the papers anymore.

So, Barry made some calls and now their doctors are getting involved and the geratrician assessment that we ordered weeks ago is suddenly available and immediate.
Help is on the way and the cavalry is coming.

Our biggest concern has always been that Dad will get his chest catheter wet and develop another toxic infection because he is not able to take care of the bathing and personal care that is necessary. We had a wonderful home help system in the house but we all knew that the days were numbered for that fantasy world.

So everyday we field a barrage of calls to and from the medical system and now Barry has, it seems, got things finally underway in the right direction. Thank goodness we have each other to talk to and moan about this circumstance and we still can see the humour in all of it. So far.

Today is a New Day and 180 degrees

We wait, knowing that packing and planning exhaustion will over come our mother and the tearful phone call. "I'm not going, its too much work."

I am not out there and I cannot get there in time anyway. I am too far away. I would love to help her.

Dad snoozes in his chair. Its the final game of the hockey season.

Barry is run off his feet with work, and he is a guy. Guys say " Just throw some things into a suitcase and that's that." Plus he is being pulled in many different directions, taking them to doctor appointments, picking up prescriptions, dealing with health care professionals and driving to dialysis. Working and above all that he has a family as well. And it is the final game of the hockey season.

I called mum today. She is bubbling over with cheer, packing things that don't need to be packed. I said leave all that, you are just going to try this place out and she said....wait for it....'I'm not coming back here, this place is too big and too much work. I haven't seen the flowers in my garden for a long time and I want friends and walks and to be cared for. "

She told Barry the same, she said to him that this place to too old I won't be back I won't like it again.

Wow!!

Yahoo!!

and Phew!!!

But, as Barry pointed out, this is our mother and things could change and turn on a dime.

But he is going to give them a week to decide if they like it and then cancel the cable and phone at the house and then the move is a fait accomplis.

No going back.

How Quickly Things can Change

Or Subtitle...The on going saga of calamity and adventure at Mum and Dad's house.

They flooded the place. Well, Dad did. They were blissfully or mostly blissfully living in that big house all alone except for the carers that came to assist Dad in the morning and evening and the occasionaly burst of excitement when Barry came to take Dad downtown for his dialysis. And the even more rare events when the rest of us could travel to town to spend a few days with them.

We had been trying to get them to visit an independant living complex for a couple of years now. Ever since Dad's health began to decline and the ever increasing and insidious osteoporosis began to steal our mother's strength and will.

However even the struggle with the diseases they face was not enough to get them to even consider looking at one of those places. I think that since they had never seen one and had only spoken to a friend who had moved to one after her stroke and had a difficult time adjusting, that in their memories of times past, these places were synonymous with old folks homes. They saw visions of old dementia patients left drooling in wheel chairs lining the halls.

But needs must. The move had to be made. Dad had managed to clog a toilet and without hearing aids in and nearly blind with cataracts, he didn't see or hear that the water was overflowing the toilet. The water ran over the floors and walls, it lifted the hardwood and ruined the drywall, it got into the cabinetry and under the shower and dripped into the basement where it ran all day long and soaked the carpeting and dripped into the food storage room, (not much food in there thank goodness) and it dripped and splashed into the one cupboard it shouldn't have got into. The cupboard in which our parents had stored all of the family photos and memorabilia.

So many times we said move that stuff, give it to us to put on disk, share it with us. But no, they wouldn't, they were afraid we would lose it. There is a time when paranoia seeps in. They see things with their suspicious goggles on. Innocent events breed fear, a delivery from the drug store at a time that is unusual or not expected scares them to death. They lock the doors and peep through the cracks.

So now we have found them the perfect spot for now. A complex that is specifically for folks of their age and ability, it provides them privacy but offers white table cloth meals prepared by a chef and exercise programs reading or card clubs, walking groups and best of all companionship. It was one of the ones high on our list for its amenities and for its location but we hadn't seen it yet. They responded quickly when I called and said that they had a show suite that they would make available for our parents immediately.
Barry took Mum over and they were shown around, given coffee and a muffin and all this with no notice mind you. Mum grudgingly said that it might work. However Dad says she is was really taken with it and was very impressed. The suite after all is dressed to the nines and is spacious and comfortable. It will be a turn key move for now, the big move will come later when they commit to the life style and move in permanently. God I hope there isn't a fight for that one.

We had been prepared to be sneaky about moving them before the 'flood'. We had thought that maybe one day we could get them between doctor appointments and when they were in a good mood we could kidnap them and take them to lunch to one of 'those places'. They could see for themselves that there are residents who like it there and look just like them.

But the universe stepped in and saved us the pain of their anger and judgement. It was decided for them by the insurance company and the contractor who said that there was no way they could live there under construction. So the deed is done and with luck we can get Dad into a dialysis unit nearby Barry and he will be able to pick him up and deliver him home every other day and it will be less than 10 minutes from his house. Barry has been doing what Dad describes as a yoeman's job and he is very grateful that Barry has found a way to take him all the way into downtown Vancouver almost every other day for dialysis.

However there are some medical issues that might preclude a closer dialysis location, Dad has a chest vascular catheter that is open to infection and if it does not heal properly, as happened once before when he developed toxic shock and we nearly lost him, there was a hospital unit just steps away from the renal clinic and they recognized his distress immediately.

So cross you fingers everyone and please send good thoughts to the universe to find a way for this to be a smooth transition because I and especially my incredibly patient and hard working brother Barry need a rest.

What a Weekend!

I am late updating this site because we came home to tons of work, which is always good but always tiring. I feel wiped every night and blogging has taken a back seat.
So here we go.
Bryan and I drove out from Calgary Blackberrying all the way with Ashley and Erin in their respective vehicles. Don't ask why.
We arrived to find that Mum had made a couple of lovely salads and so we put some filet on the BBQ and sat down to dinner. I had hoped that they wouldn't wait for us because it was nearly 8 when we finished dinner.

The next morning, I got up early and made french toast for all while Bryan went for a little walk with Dad on his scooter.

Dad comes in the front door over the door sill through the kitchen and out onto the deck oblivious to anything in his way mashing the sliding door tracks and carving up the wall corners.

Then I discovered that the tire on the wheel chair was flat, we only had a couple of hours before we had to be at the hospital for 11:30 am and so I ran around the stores looking for a wheel chair inner tube and then a tire shop to put it on for me. Of course the inner tube is a crazy size and can only be found at a medical supply store. Thank goodness this was Saturday and not Sunday and I was able to get the job done.

The wheel chair is essential to getting around in the hospital and out for excursions. We are so grateful to have it. Dad is fine in his walker but he can't go far and he certainly can't go fast and on the mornings of dialysis we have a scrum at the electric doors and a rush to the weigh scale.
Each kidney patient must weigh in on the same scale everyday to determine the amount of fluid they may need to intake everyday. Dialysis is a very precise procedure.

After the dialysis we found Chris waiting for us at the hospital doors and we all piled into our car and drove out to Barry and Brenda's for the BBQ.

The day before we had dropped off the beef and salads and when we arrived the day of the party with all the bakery and the cake, the meat was done to perfection and the table groaned with delicious dishes. Brenda outdoes herself with her world famous vegetable lasagne.

Tony and Jill were there to greet us and it was as though 26 years just fell away and we congratulated each other on how young and healthy we looked. We hadn't aged a minute. At least so we thought. Good luck with that knee surgery Tony.



After dinner Tony read the speech he wrote and presented to the RSL. The speech in which he detailed Dad's story and how proud he was of his war hero uncle. My dad proudly wore his RSL pin. This was an important evening for Dad, he will never get back to Australia to use his membership card but he is an appreciative and honored recipient.

Tony holding his order of Australia document which is like the Order of Canada or an OBE. Pretty impressive stuff Tony!

The story of my father's experiences during the war and the downing of his plane in the Bay of Biscay are http://encarta.msn.com/map_701510915/bay_of_biscay.html important stories of the war and I will endeavor to tell them with the respect they deserve on another date on this blog.
When you Google more maps of the area keep in mind the records and logs of hundreds of historic and epic sea battles going back over hundreds of years that have taken place in the Bay of Biscay and the thousands and thousands of sailors gone before this time and that have died and drowned there.

The weather was balmy in the evening as the party wound up and some of us went home.
If you wish to get a close up just click on the pictures

Others stayed and danced with Bacchus and rued that decision the next day. But there we no bodies found in the pool in the morning but Geoffrey's beer was missing. What?

We drove Mum and Dad home as well as Brenda's mum Bea ,and the evening was topped off by some lovely Sinatra on the car sound system accompanying our drive. Mum doesn't get out much, we forget about that as Dad gets his downtown outing every other day, but Mum doesn't go to the hospital because 5 hours waiting in the renal department would be horrible. So an evening drive was a treat.

Sunday morning we woke up to another day of idyllic late May weather. After breakfast, Bryan and I went for a swim in Brenda and Barry's pool and Mum and Dad enjoyed a nap. The water temperature was perfect and I was so tired that I just hung onto an inner tube and floated until I nearly fell asleep.
Back to Burnaby and after we did some grocery shopping and made some lunch, we suggested that Dad take us for a little walk while he rode his super duper, electric scooter. So Ashley arrived in time to go up the hill with Grandpa. Mum came out and peered past the hedge to see where they were, she stood and waited for them to come back and I went inside to get the camera.

I came out to the sidewalk and looked to the right and down the hill just in time to see Ashley running, hair flying towards a red heap on the road. Dad had decided to go to the bottom of the hill speeding past Ashley, he peeled down the hill with no clue how to stop, he pulled a U turn too sharply and flipped over.

A crowd quickly gathered, cars stopped and helpful neighbours rushed from their houses. I ran down the hill in my flip flops thinking that he was probably unconcious and or dead. Strong young guys lifted him up while two others righted the scooter and reattached the fender. They put dad back into the driver's seat and after I checked him over and discovered that the blood on his shirt was from an abrasion on his shoulder and not his renal catheter, we turned him around and headed him back up the hill.
My heart was still pounding.

I was frightened for him, Mum was mad at him, Ashley was amazed, but in the end Dad broke the shackles of old age, defied gravity and a bum knee and a heart condition, kidney disease, colostomy, blindness and hearing loss and he was a 10 year old kid again.

Erin and Walter stopped in just as we got Dad sorted and through the door. Dad was a little discombobulated and after a short visit he went to his room for a sleep. No concussion, just a little bandaid and all was right with the world. I think he had a smile on his face when he fell asleep.

A lovely evening drive after dinner and we got them home and into bed for a night's rest before we started all over again with the early morning 6:30 am drive to the hospital downtown. This means that Dad has to be up and ready to leave after having eaten his breakfast an hour before we hit the road, by 6:30 on the dot. It is like pushing a turtle. Lots of time lost looking for a missing wallet and then missing glasses and then the RSL pin that had grown legs and vanished. We finally rounded it all up and decided that Dad should get up at 4:30 in the morning in order to find the things he lost overnight. Sigh!

He can't see well and he doesn't hear well and his knees are bad and he has other personal needs to attend to. This is a huge effort. For the rest of us, just getting up and washing our faces and brushing our teeth will get us out the door in fairly presentable condition. if pushed.

However, when you are 93 you must budget your energy and use your time well to pace yourself and not forget anything or fall. Hurrying is not an option. And when your nurse, cook, cleaner and personal secretary is 88 years old, well things don't always go as smoothly as they should.

This day was special, they were having lunch with Tony and Jill. We dropped Dad off at St Pauls and Tony and Jill picked him up after dialysis and then picked up Mum and then off they went to Horizons restaurant on the top of Burnaby mountain. The visit by the McGraths had been a long anticipated event and both of my parents were pleased that they made the trip just to visit them. I was so glad that one of Dad's favourite nephews went those extra several thousand miles to make an old gentleman's party.

We went home via Vernon and a lovely lunch and dinner with Bob and Sherry. We drove up the Spallumcheen valley and found an asparagus farm and now I have tons of asparagus to put up for the future months when asparagus will be a treat.
I might post a photo of the asparagus drying on the counter....if that ever happens. Hmmm asparagus soup.