How Quickly Things can Change

Or Subtitle...The on going saga of calamity and adventure at Mum and Dad's house.

They flooded the place. Well, Dad did. They were blissfully or mostly blissfully living in that big house all alone except for the carers that came to assist Dad in the morning and evening and the occasionaly burst of excitement when Barry came to take Dad downtown for his dialysis. And the even more rare events when the rest of us could travel to town to spend a few days with them.

We had been trying to get them to visit an independant living complex for a couple of years now. Ever since Dad's health began to decline and the ever increasing and insidious osteoporosis began to steal our mother's strength and will.

However even the struggle with the diseases they face was not enough to get them to even consider looking at one of those places. I think that since they had never seen one and had only spoken to a friend who had moved to one after her stroke and had a difficult time adjusting, that in their memories of times past, these places were synonymous with old folks homes. They saw visions of old dementia patients left drooling in wheel chairs lining the halls.

But needs must. The move had to be made. Dad had managed to clog a toilet and without hearing aids in and nearly blind with cataracts, he didn't see or hear that the water was overflowing the toilet. The water ran over the floors and walls, it lifted the hardwood and ruined the drywall, it got into the cabinetry and under the shower and dripped into the basement where it ran all day long and soaked the carpeting and dripped into the food storage room, (not much food in there thank goodness) and it dripped and splashed into the one cupboard it shouldn't have got into. The cupboard in which our parents had stored all of the family photos and memorabilia.

So many times we said move that stuff, give it to us to put on disk, share it with us. But no, they wouldn't, they were afraid we would lose it. There is a time when paranoia seeps in. They see things with their suspicious goggles on. Innocent events breed fear, a delivery from the drug store at a time that is unusual or not expected scares them to death. They lock the doors and peep through the cracks.

So now we have found them the perfect spot for now. A complex that is specifically for folks of their age and ability, it provides them privacy but offers white table cloth meals prepared by a chef and exercise programs reading or card clubs, walking groups and best of all companionship. It was one of the ones high on our list for its amenities and for its location but we hadn't seen it yet. They responded quickly when I called and said that they had a show suite that they would make available for our parents immediately.
Barry took Mum over and they were shown around, given coffee and a muffin and all this with no notice mind you. Mum grudgingly said that it might work. However Dad says she is was really taken with it and was very impressed. The suite after all is dressed to the nines and is spacious and comfortable. It will be a turn key move for now, the big move will come later when they commit to the life style and move in permanently. God I hope there isn't a fight for that one.

We had been prepared to be sneaky about moving them before the 'flood'. We had thought that maybe one day we could get them between doctor appointments and when they were in a good mood we could kidnap them and take them to lunch to one of 'those places'. They could see for themselves that there are residents who like it there and look just like them.

But the universe stepped in and saved us the pain of their anger and judgement. It was decided for them by the insurance company and the contractor who said that there was no way they could live there under construction. So the deed is done and with luck we can get Dad into a dialysis unit nearby Barry and he will be able to pick him up and deliver him home every other day and it will be less than 10 minutes from his house. Barry has been doing what Dad describes as a yoeman's job and he is very grateful that Barry has found a way to take him all the way into downtown Vancouver almost every other day for dialysis.

However there are some medical issues that might preclude a closer dialysis location, Dad has a chest vascular catheter that is open to infection and if it does not heal properly, as happened once before when he developed toxic shock and we nearly lost him, there was a hospital unit just steps away from the renal clinic and they recognized his distress immediately.

So cross you fingers everyone and please send good thoughts to the universe to find a way for this to be a smooth transition because I and especially my incredibly patient and hard working brother Barry need a rest.