When we arrived early this morning Dad was tied into his bed and trying to eat his breakfast. Mum was freshly washed and medicated and curled up. She opened her eyes and looked through me then began to cry and fret. She waves her arms in the air and plucks the blankets. We wrestled Dads chair over beside her bed and he held her hand and began to cry. She reached for him and moved closer to the edge of her bed towards him. They both spilled tears and Dad pulled himself to her face and she reached up again to give him a kiss. A touching moment then Dad slipped and face planted into her pillow. Mum looked up in surprise as his kiss slid past her and landed on the pillow.
I told Dad that this morning I had an epiphany in the shower about his question to me last week. He asked me what a married couple could do if they lived together and needed help. I told him those worries were over now and that we have found them a place to care for them with all their medical needs. Oh, he said. And that was that.
This morning it came as thunder bolt, he was telling me that he felt guilty that he couldn't get Mum the help she needed and he didn't know what to do and that she got sicker and sicker and he felt that it was all his fault. Oh what a relief it was for him when I told him that Lewy Body dementia had bamboozeled us all. Her doctors, her family and friends were frustrated with not being able to get a diagnosis.
But good news this morning three options for moving them have arisen.
Their story is famous in this hospital and people are stopping to ask how they are? People we have never seen before.
Once again, shame on the system. Their lack of dignity is the system's shame. Wonderful folks are working hard to over come the rules.
Tell everyone you know and check back here.
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